Abridge To Brooklyn

We belong to the Church of the Steak Salesman

A Mormon, a Jehovah Witness, and a door to door Salesman all started their day with a prayer.

The Mormon prayed that her food would give her “health and strength,” that she could get her list of many things done, and that she wouldn’t be home when the Jehovah Witnesses came a calling.

The Jevhovah Witness prayed that she could convert that Mormon.

The Steak Salesman started driving his frozen meat truck all around town. He met with many people. Most of them were not interested in his special Texas Steaks. They would have prefered some Ahi, or Salmon, or Sushi. Such is the way on an island.

The Steak Salesman started to worry he wouldn’t get a paycheck. He had a wife to feed. His wife liked expensive shoes. He said an extra prayer.

The Mormon started her day too. She fed the child, took a walk, went shopping, played with playdough, blew bubbles on the front porch, fed the child again, put the child down for a nap, cleaned the house, made some calls, and boiled the snot  out of a bag of beans.

She should have read the instructions.

She had a lot of beans when she was done.

The Jehovah Witness picked up her companion. They  drove around town making visits. No one was very interested. “I know!” said the Jehovah Witness, “We can go visit the Mormon!”

The Mormon now had an entire soup pot of boiled beans. The husband came home and saw the beans.

“That’s a lot of beans,” He pointed out.

The Mormon wife nodded. She had forgotten how much swelling beans did when you boil the snot out of them.

“I guess we will be eating a lot of beans this week,” said the husband. Then he resigned himself to playing with the child. His stomach growled. It had been nine months of a chicken and bean diet.

Meanwhile, the Steak Salesman and the Jehovah Witness were racing to the Mormon’s house.

The Jehovah Witness got their first. The Mormon was trying to perform miracles with the boiled beans. The Jehovah Witness wanted  to explain the 144, 000. The husband was trying to hide.

Enter the Steak Salesman.

The husband, who on any other day would have politely declined, accompanied the Steak Salesman to his frozen meat truck.

Maybe he didn’t want to learn about the 144,000.

Maybe he didn’t want boiled beans for dinner even if miracles were performed.

Maybe he was just confused.

Regardless.

The Jehovah Witness did not convert the Mormon.

It appears, her prayer was not answered.

The Meat Salsman crammed steaks, and fancy cuts of Texas Beef into the freezer next to some freezing bags of boiled beans. He kissed his whopping check and did Toyota kicks all the way home.

It appears, his prayers were answered.

The Mormon and her husband ate bean soup and steak for dinner.

It appears that her prayers were answered, and a miracle was performed.

Which is why, the Mormon husband also belongs to the church of the traveling Steak Salesman.